Thursday, June 28, 2012

God is my boxing champ

"The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” 
Exodus 14:14 (NIV) 

He is my savior. He is my friend. He is even my psychologist at times...if only God could write prescriptions. 

But lately...lately, God is my boxing champ. 

Sometimes waiting on God in faith is like waiting for Christmas to come every year. It always comes, but it feels like it will never get here. This is where my faith is at lately. I have faith that He has great things in store...but, I feel like I am always impatiently waiting on Him. You know how there is this unspoken rule in America that you can't put up your tree until after Thanksgiving? Yeah, I've had mine up for weeks by the time we are carving that turkey. 

The longer I wait on God to answer a prayer, the more anxious I become. I constantly find myself saying "I put all my hope in you Lord...but, I don't for how much longer." I am in a constant war within myself...God against my flesh. I want to abide in Him, but I struggle with His timing.

Sometimes I feel like the Israelites crying out saying "you are leaving me here to die in the desert!!!" 

It is hard when you feel like you are fighting alone. The world always questioning you and your decisions. People who are supposed to love you break your heart and leave you with battle wounds. Sometimes I really just want to wave my white flag of surrender in the air at the world because it just seems easier to follow the crowd.

But my Heavenly Father doesn't allow me to stay pushed down for long. I wrestle with scripture and I wrestle with Him...forgetting He is on my side. I wrestle with the world. I wrestle with the really hard questions about faith and God. This week I have thrown my fists at the sky and said "God, why would you create people who you know are going to go to Hell? You love, why even create non believers?"

I get frustrated reading about Calvinism vs. Arminianism. I get frustrated watching denominations fight over theology. I get frustrated hearing the debate over gay marriage within the church itself.

But, I can feel Him fighting for me. Fighting against the world and reminding me that He is my only hope and He is the only good here. I feel like God lets me take a time out now and then, but He draws me back in and just says "let ME do this, Sarah!" Reminding I am not alone on this faith walk.

Reminding me that like the Israelites, He is the boxer. I am simply commanded to let Him take out the enemy. 

And there is so much peace in knowing that. So, even though I feel like I have been waiting on answers to prayers and questions...even though the world beats me down...I find comfort in knowing He is the greatest boxer in the world. And He has already won my heart.

No comments:

Post a Comment