Beautiful lips

 "Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving."

Ephesians 5:4 (NIV)

I can't remember exactly how old she was. Somewhere close to age 2 or a little there after and I heard something come out my oldest daughters mouth that left me completely flabbergasted. I was changing her diaper when she said it with a little smirk on her face.

"Stupid."

At first I thought I was wrong. Certainly my little innocent girl had not just uttered such an ugly word (yes, that's an ugly word in our house. My children are all ages 3 and under remember.). My suspicions were confirmed when she said it a second time that day and my husband confirmed he thought she had said it the day before.

It must have been the Disney movies I figured at the time. Although every little girl loves a Disney princess movie, they are notorious for name calling: fool, stupid, imbecile. You don't notice these things until you have little ears who hear the words. I asked my girlfriends how to handle the situation as I knew she had no idea what it meant. She wasn't even directing the word towards anyone. To her, it was just another word to add to her repertoire. "Do you ignore and hope she'll stop...does giving it attention make it that much more appealing to say? Or do you explain why that is something that is usually not nice to say?"My favorite response (as was the mutual response from many) was to tell her that her mouth was too pretty to have ugly words come out of her mouth." That has sense become a favorite family saying anytime we need to address a word that isn't the nicest. 

Days later I was having a conversation with a friend on the phone and I uttered what will forever ingrain the saddest look of disappointment in my life.  Who knows what the conversation was about, but the casual saying of "that's so stupid" came out of my mouth and I immediately looked at that little round face of hers.

You would have thought that I had just committed the unpardonable sin by the look on her face. 

"We don't say that word, right Mommy?" she asked with a slight frown of disapproval. "You mouth is too pretty!"

Great. Not only did I have a two year old saying stupid, but she had actually learned it from her mother. A mother who prides herself on speaking properly, yet now realized how many times in conversations with adults I'd utter the phrase "that's so stupid." It was a humbling experience. 

At first, I wanted to explain that mommy doesn't mean it in a demeaning way. But, a toddler cannot understand this. There is no room for grey areas in their lives. This event made me think about why it is so important how we handle ourselves in front of nonbelievers.

A few years ago, I would have turned this into a legalistic situation. But this has nothing to do with "good Christians" versus "bad Christians"...because, we are ALL bad.  But you see, toddlers and nonbelievers are very similar. They both are looking and seeking. If we claim to have the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of use, yet what comes out of our mouths is filth, you can see how it would be very confusing to a seeker. (Obviously the word "stupid" is an elementary example, but you understand my point).

You see, it's not God shaking His finger at us (that's how legalistic people think). It is God saying "how can they know unless you let me show them through you and your character?" It is a fine line indeed between legalism and wanting to be a witness for Christ. Our character is not what makes us right with God. He created us and loved us knowing all we would say and do. But, people are in fact looking at out character whether we want them to or not. How imperative it is for us to show God's love through what comes from our lips (rather than watching what we say because we think God will be disappointed with us. He is not. We are His beloved). 

Seeing life through the eyes and hearing it through the mouth of my child has totally changed my perspective on why God guides us to be shining lights for Him. We are full of sin and our flesh will naturally want to exude anger and sarcasm. But when I think of how I want my child to so desperately know Christ, I know that beauty must always be exuded from my lips. 

And in return, she will learn what true beauty looks like.