Love one another (Part 2)

"Now we who are strong ought to bear the weaknesses of those without strength and not just please ourselves."

Romans 15:1 (NAS)

"Why is that you never cry? Is this just a typical man thing?" I asked my husband many years ago. (For the record, I've only seen him cry once in the almost 14 years we have been together...and that was when his heart was in atrial flutter and an ambulance rushed him to the hospital. I think he was scared he was going to die.)

"No, I was made fun of when I was a young boy for crying at school whenever the other kids made fun of me. They would tease me about my hair cut or for liking a girl and they knew that it would embarrass me. And then in middle school, one of my life long friends saw an opportunity to be in the cool crowd and started making fun of me. So, I basically learned how to not cry. I didn't want them to know the hurt they had caused. They would literally say things just to see me cry. Sometimes I wish I could cry though."

Scars. We all have them. We have all caused them as well. If only it was the innocence of immature children. But sadly, the hurts are only deeper the older we get. We stab harder, use more sarcasm, make fun of each other at another persons expense. We hurt others because we ourselves are hurt. And it is wrong. If only we could see the joy that comes from loving others, perhaps we could break this cycle of pain. 

Sometimes we do it because we refuse to help carry someone's burden. We gloss over others feelings because we don't want to share their pain. It's like the person who tells someone whose loved one who has just died "you should be happy they are in a better place." Really? This is how we love someone who is grieving? We tell them they should not feel normal human emotions? Talk about kicking someone when they are already down. No, we are not purposely trying to hurt them. But we are.

At family affairs, we tease each other and rehash old embarrassments. But who is laughing? Generally not the one being teased. For them, it is bringing back an old wound that so desperately wants to fade away. Some may say "get a sense of humor." I say, "if we knowingly know it hurts them, why do we keep doing it? If it makes them turn red with embarrassment and they are not laughing, why do it?" But we do it...to our friends, our families, to those we are supposed to love the most. We push away friends when they don't fit into our perfect mold any more.

"Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart."

1 Peter 1:22 (NIV-italics are my emphasis)

How desperately I pray that my own children will love the shy boy on the playground! I see my oldest daughter who is almost 4 and there is no question that she is strikingly beautiful. But, I pray...of how I pray that her heart would be even more beautiful...that she would be the girl to stand up for the girl crying in the bathroom stall. Most parents worry about their child being made fun of...but me...I just want my child to be the one who holds their hand out for the hurting souls. To love them.

At what age do we stop thinking we are so much better than another? When is it that we start to think our sin isn't as bad as another persons? When will we realize how much we all just desperately want to be loved...loved with our uncool haircuts or bad perfume...loved despite our past bad decisions. Loved even if we are just grumpy and mean. When will we start loving the way Jesus has commanded? 

(To be continued)